I wanted to post this before my trip, but I ran out of time. This is the entry I posted to B_F before leaving about my anxieties of the upcoming new social experiences. A first furry and nudist event all in one....

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BFC next weekend will be two firsts for me - it will be my first time attending a furry gathering, and my first time being nude in public/going to a nudist resort.

I have been active to some degree in the fandom for about three years, but I have only hung out with other furries on a one-on-one basis twice. I live in Michigan and there is a decent furry community here with meets every month, but I never attended mainly because I have social anxiety and that prevented me from feeling comfortable in a situation like a furmeet (there can be 30 people at a MI meet). And forget about a hotel convention... I think BFC will be a good first furry event for me, there won't be masses of strangers and a feeling of being socially overwhelmed. There are secondary reasons why I have not attended a local meet, mainly drama related and just stupid things that I want to avoid getting involved with (like a meet being dominated by so-and-so being here when no one "likes" them, or what someone is doing, etc). I don't get that vibe with the furs through this community. This is pretty much the only online furry community/forum I am active in, it seems to be a "drama free zone". So I am looking forward to hanging out with some cool furs on a more intimate level than I would get at a large local meet or hotel convention, and I think that is a good thing.

Now, being nude in public for the first time... I have been clothes free mainly in my own home or with people I had a very close relationship with. I don't have a problem with myself being nude but moreso how I will act around others who are nude, until I get used to it. I am unfamiliar with any etiquette there may be, and maybe there isn't any. But I will be very self conscious with how I act and how others pick up on it. An example is that I may be trying too hard to look at someone's face to avoid looking elsewhere at their body, and it might be obvious that I am trying rather than just being natural. One thing I like about nudism is the chance to see many different body shapes and all the genetic variability I can't see while people are wearing clothes. I find it interesting all the different body types people have, so I might without realizing it look at someone's body and if they notice it (like if I am in a conversation or close proximity to them), I don't want them to think I am looking at their body in a rude way.

I guess since this is a new social situation for me, I will wonder if I am acting in the appropriate way (also coupled with meeting new people). I think I will let go of the social worries after getting to know the fellow attendees. Just know that I might be awkward for a bit, and seem reserved. It takes some time for me to get comfortable when meeting new people.

I am anticipating being around so many natural people will boost my bodily self-acceptance a bit. There is the Hollywood and media-mold body which everyone is exposed to all the time, and it almost seems like that is the norm body type. And of course it is the "ideal" type. But then there is the body everyone else has, with its lumps and irregularities. I think if I see a bunch of people who are as irregular as I am, it would make me feel more normal. The bodily flaws I am most self-conscious about are the scars left on my back from "bacne" outbreaks, and stretch mark scars I have all over from when I was a (very overweight) child. Since I can never see if others have the same or similar flaws, I feel abnormal or ugly because I have those scars. I know though that everyone has some sort of defect and that it's not abnormal...but I never see it so I can't accept my own irregularities. I hope that made sense.

Another concern I have with being outside nude in public for the first time is sunburn. I have been naked in the sun before, once...but I can say that other than that one time there are parts of my body that have never been exposed to the sun. Of course I will be lathered in sunblock but I still have worries. I have this cute dress type thing that is sheer (I think it is a swimsuit cover up) that I will probably put on if I feel a burn in the making. I burn easily in general too...blah. It might be a bit of a bummer if I have to cover up. But I know I have to do what I have to do so I don't get burned.

While I have these concerns, I think they are minimal and will go away soon after I arrive at BFC central. I am most anxious about the drive, mainly getting a flat tire on the interstate and dealing with that. But I am expecting to have a wonderful time with fellow bare furs :D.