Ron was right when he described the night as "crazy". It was definitely out of the ordinary.

I had wanted Ron and Pau to come over to smoke the salvia I bought a couple weeks ago. I was a good time this weekend since my mom was gone, and I wanted to be in a comfortable situation when I smoke it. Of course I had no definite plans especially dealing with these two and it ended up that Pau came over yesterday evening for a few hours and we hung out before attending a party. I felt a migraine forming and took two Motrin but it was not effective. So I took a vicodin, which I have only taken once before and I figured one would be alright. We picked Ron up at almost quarter past 10 and went SE to a stranger's house for a party. Colette's birthday was yesterday, and she had a party for it alongside a UFC viewing gathering at her friend Brandon's place. She wanted me to be there and I hadn't seen her for a while, near a year perhaps. So while the party had the high potential of being dumb, I went mainly for her but also to experience something different. Pau wanted the experience too, he's always up for observing different scenes. I don't know why Ron wanted to go, but he met Colette once a while ago and wanted to be there too. So we went, and I figured we would be perhaps a little out of place but we were with Colette so I figured if they know her the they wouldn't be so surprised by us. On the way I stopped at a 7-11 to get Ron cigs and to cash in a coupon from the Michigan Lotto for a "buy a $5 ticket, get a $2 free". It was interesting, I could feel the effect of the pill and I felt wierd, like I was acting wierd but not in a suspicious way. I always think I act wierd even when I'm sober. I got the $5 ticket for Colette as a cop out gift (I would have painted her something if I had more time warning) and kept the $2 Bingo card for myself. I did not win anything.

The people at this gathering were ordinary. Surprisingly they were around my age, some 23 some older. But it felt like they were different from me, even though we were the same age. Well of course they were different but in a way that was like a rift. Maybe because they are the "get drunk and party!!!" kind of folks. It was awkward at first, people were on couches watching a UFC fight on a big screen and others were around the bar that this guy had built in his basement. I tried to explain UFC to Pau and Ron, luckily we were there to experience blood gushing out of one fighter's head and staining the other fighter's blonde hair pink. Colette was not having a good time either, everyone else she invited for her b-day ditched her or couldn't come for some reason; the worst was her sister didn't show up for irresponsible reasons. She was depressed and contemplating leaving, I was following her around making sure everything was cool. She felt better eventually, I don't know what changed but it did and she ended up having a good time. After the fight, people got drunk fairly quickly. Ron sat and drew in his mini book on a couch or outside, Paul went to smoke with some people (I would have like to have joined them but I had to make sure Colette was alright) and just observed mainly. I had a few shots and was buzzed, though no where near drunk. I had a good time hanging out with Colette and being in this new environment. They were loud though, blasting music (that was actually decent) plus playing a drum set along with it, I had to take a couple moments outside. It's always fun watching people when they are intoxicated while you are not there yourself. But it did help that I was buzzed. Someone got Colette a cake which I am glad they did, and I enjoyed a slice (great cake). This one guy, who had dreadlocks but of course isn't much of an indicator of personality, was drunk and being an ass. He smeared cake in this one chick's face and was making a mess, destroying a corner of the cake. He was pestering me a bit, he wanted me to wipe frosting off of his hand which I did (didn't want any getting on me, I managed to get away with only a few spots) and he wouldn't leave me alone for a few minutes. This goes beyond entertaining and becomes annoying. They were in the no-memory phase (it was only about 2 AM) and after I finished my slice I was ready to go.

We took off, it was about 2:30. Ron was scheduled to work at 5 AM and he was in a dilemma of going or calling in. Paul fell asleep and I hung around Ron, muchly enjoying his company. We went outside around 5-ish, Paul woke up a little after and left for home. Ron wanted to stay here to avoid parentals and I didn't mind. He asked me what my plans were or what I wanted to do in the future or something. I told him my plans go to next spring, that I am staying here to finish therapy and hopefully get my associate's. Then I didn't know what. He asked me what I wanted to do as far as a career and I told him that I didn't know, I didn't know what I wanted to major in except that I was recently thinking about working with non-profits (if I can get a major for something like that). He asked because he had this notion of "our group" sticking together and doing good things, in a worldly sense. He thought that it would be better if we stuck together and to that I replied with a "perhaps" (of course I know better, there is no way for a group like ours to really be a cohesive unit. Of course I am thinking of one person in particular who would make it not work). Ron is moving to Kzoo to live with those folks and has had a recent influx of optimism I think. It's expected, but in the 5 years between us I have learned things that he won't expect yet. It's a good thing, he's headed in a good direction and I think if anyone will really be successful it's him. He's more rational than Chris and Pau and has his wits about him more. We sat outside in my driveway, I was very tired of course but I wanted to see the sun come up since I have only experienced that a handful of times in my life. Ron was anxious over his decision to call in, and also facing his mother. Close to 6 he wanted me to call him in, pretend I was his sister and tell the manager that Ron was sick the night before so he couldn't come in that morning. When he proposed that request I had to think about it (phone anxiety) but then I thought it would be a funny thing to do and it was no big deal. At 6 I called, Ron had to go in and close the door as I did because he was nervous. The call was really easy and Ron was relieved.

I went to bed then, I expected him to leave within a few hours but he was still around each time I would wake up. Once in a while I would come out of my sleep and hear him either talk to himself or talk to Theo. Once I heard him say that last night was a crazy night, and it really was since it was so out of the ordinary. He was very sleep deprived (not an uncommon state for him) and was a little out of his mind. I woke up sometime in the noon hour, after a dream. Ron heard me rustle (he was in the main room in the basement and my door was open) and said "time for school!" I was glad he was still there. He told me about all these wierd happenings and his paranoia which were a result of his sleep deprived state. He looked through all my books while I was sleeping. He stayed until almost 3.

Of course I had developed feelings for him in months-weeks-days earlier, but they weren't really around last night and into today. Maybe I told myself not to feel and I listened, it actually worked. I don't have an "emotional" crush on him though I am still sexually attracted to him. But that's not unusual for me to be sexually attracted to friends.

This was a good time for me socially. Perhaps I will go to future parties with Colette and her main group. Pau and Ron, and Leslie too are going (back) to Kzoo in a couple weeks. I will be in Florida while they spend there last days here in suburbia for this moment at least so I think I feel I need to get time in with them. Not depressed now but maybe later in the summer when I have no one around to spend time with. Well, I'm used to that situation more than any heavily social trend, but it still can be a bummer. I am interested to see what comes of Ron living in Kzoo though. I think soon he will learn that in some cases it is not a good idea to live with your best friends. I certainly would not live in that house.