who needs friends when you've got the internet?!

I hope the issues with Chris are resolved but I can never tell. He blamed him not paying his fair shre of the memorial weekend camping trip "as usual" on capitalism...this is what he said exactly "As for the camping trip, the only true blame I would assign is on, as usual, the economic and cultural state of our society. It is not our fault we got screwed, because that's the intention of business: profit before everything. " I told him that "we" did not get screwed but that I and Leslie got screwed. It did not affect him since he did not pay, so he cannot be included in the screwing. Well anyway who knows when the next time I see him will be, and I'm wiser to his bullshit at least.

Therapy session did not go well today because I was light headed, dizzy and weak and thus could not focus. So it was ended short and nothing got done. I do not know why I felt so bad, it staarted when I got in the car to go to the office. Even though I woke up during REM (not too deep) I felt fine and it took less time than normal for me to feel awake. I took a nap this afternoon and still felt kinda crappy afterwards. I have to go back to the office tomorrow to see the shrink.

I think my brain is trying to get me closer to lucid dreaming. I think things during my dream about what is happening, like I know I am dreaming and I analyze what happens. Last night this guy Tony whom I went to jr high-high school with appeared in a dream but he was in a 7th grade form and I made a mental not of that. Perhaps it is hard to explain me thinking separate from what I may be thinking of as part of the dream. Though I don't know if I really "think" in dreams past. I just do what the dream makes me do. Also last night I wanted something to happen to my father in a dream set in the house I grew up in (could be an extension of the same dream). He was on the porch and not really viable, just kind of there in a diminished lifeless state. Still he was affecting me and I wanted some horrible thing to happen to his form like I wanted him to be cut up or something. I don't remember exactly but I do remember trying a couple of times to have this thing happen to him and it failed. Finally he vaporized or turned into dust, but I don't think I 'did' that myself, the dream made it happen after I tried to do it myself several times. This type of dream awareness has been happening more often in the past few months and it seems to increase a little each time. Perhaps it will lead me to have an actual lucid dream. It's way too rudimentary now as often I am aware I am dreaming but that is as far as the awareness goes.

I went to Red Robin with my mom for dinner tonight since I had the once-yearly burger crave. I had a mushroom and swiss burger, and it wasn't that great. Should've had the chicken.